This is a beautiful story. Thanks for sharing. And thanks for demonstrating how these uncertain conversations can be negotiated with grace, empathy and kindness.
She is very lucky to have you as a mom...and you are lucky to have her as your Blueberry!
A great niece of mine is going through this now. Her mom and stepdad are walking the path you walked; they are carefully and kindly trying to find a way that honors her needs and changing feelings. Her dad is refusing, telling her she is a girl and that is that. At the same time, he complains to anyone who will listen that she doesn't want spend time with him and his family. It is a sad situation but she is moving through it with the grace and compassion of a much older person.
My they changed their name from Sara to an ambiguous gender name right about that age. Luckily not legally as they are an outspoken journalist and have a large following on bsky and are very critical of the current regime. Having a nom de plume is an asset these days.
The name is adorable! Most of all, eu adoro (I love) this conversation of respectful support of this young person navigating growing into Selfhood that they will be living with the rest of their life. Don't we all yearn for such acceptance and support? That is love.
Thank you SO much for affirming your kid like this. Having a supportive parent rather than someone you have to tip toe around or someone who cuts you off makes such a big difference. In this day and age kids need to see more affirming adults and having a parent in their court is huge. Of course, this is how kids SHOULD be treated but so many parents aren't willing to navigate the change in a fully supportive way. Obrigado!!!
Awwww...thank you LaDonna, your words warm my heart! The journey to they took over 60 years and the portal was opened by a little being (held them at birth, and is like my grandchild), who at three or four years old, told their parents (two female-bodied), "I am both". They just turned 14, and I’m certain would enjoy Mirtilo. What an honor to share this world with both!
Love this whole progression, but also the fact that I know that I know that even if it WAS a lot of work, you still would have done it because that is how you love your people <3
Thanks for sharing! There is always a way to make sure that our kids are the happiest and healthiest that they can be...even if we don't figure it out right away. Much happiness to you, marido, and mirtilo.
Beautifully written, thank you so much for sharing. It made me reflect on my uncle, who came home from school one day (I think in first or second grade in the 1940s) and asked his parents if he could change his name from Clee to Scott. Apparently he was getting bullied at school and he just didn't like his name. They said yes, no problem, no big deal. If it caused him less suffering, why not? He's been Scott ever since. My Uncle Scott. I've often wanted to change my first name to my middle name, but the administrative hassles ... are too overwhelming. I'm glad nicknames are much easier to edit. Thanks for writing.
I am commenting again after debating whether to put my thoughts into online space. Because I have no kids I can't relate but the love and consideration for your child's feelings comes through loud and clear. I quite don't understand the latest wave of she/her/they and so I can't speak for that. I find it confusing but I would never be as rude as the poster below who not only expresses her opinion but passes judgment and blame for a simple post. You were extremely kind to allow her to post. I would have just blocked her. I always remember the saying: "if you have nothing positive to say, say nothing" or something like that.
This is a beautiful story. Thanks for sharing. And thanks for demonstrating how these uncertain conversations can be negotiated with grace, empathy and kindness.
She is very lucky to have you as a mom...and you are lucky to have her as your Blueberry!
A great niece of mine is going through this now. Her mom and stepdad are walking the path you walked; they are carefully and kindly trying to find a way that honors her needs and changing feelings. Her dad is refusing, telling her she is a girl and that is that. At the same time, he complains to anyone who will listen that she doesn't want spend time with him and his family. It is a sad situation but she is moving through it with the grace and compassion of a much older person.
My they changed their name from Sara to an ambiguous gender name right about that age. Luckily not legally as they are an outspoken journalist and have a large following on bsky and are very critical of the current regime. Having a nom de plume is an asset these days.
I love the code name Blueberry! 🫐
You're such a good mom. And Blueberry is amazing - thanks for letting us still peek into your life blueberry!
The name is adorable! Most of all, eu adoro (I love) this conversation of respectful support of this young person navigating growing into Selfhood that they will be living with the rest of their life. Don't we all yearn for such acceptance and support? That is love.
Thank you SO much for affirming your kid like this. Having a supportive parent rather than someone you have to tip toe around or someone who cuts you off makes such a big difference. In this day and age kids need to see more affirming adults and having a parent in their court is huge. Of course, this is how kids SHOULD be treated but so many parents aren't willing to navigate the change in a fully supportive way. Obrigado!!!
True love.
From a they to they, raising a 🥂 to Mirtilo! My favorites too. 🙌🏽🙏🏽🫶🏽.
Cheers to you, Ryū!
Awwww...thank you LaDonna, your words warm my heart! The journey to they took over 60 years and the portal was opened by a little being (held them at birth, and is like my grandchild), who at three or four years old, told their parents (two female-bodied), "I am both". They just turned 14, and I’m certain would enjoy Mirtilo. What an honor to share this world with both!
An honor indeed. Much love to you, and to these two 14-year-olds who are so fearless in knowing themselves.
Love this whole progression, but also the fact that I know that I know that even if it WAS a lot of work, you still would have done it because that is how you love your people <3
Also "Code Name Blueberry" is a tremendous title!
Thanks Margaret. 😘
Thanks for sharing! There is always a way to make sure that our kids are the happiest and healthiest that they can be...even if we don't figure it out right away. Much happiness to you, marido, and mirtilo.
Beautifully written, thank you so much for sharing. It made me reflect on my uncle, who came home from school one day (I think in first or second grade in the 1940s) and asked his parents if he could change his name from Clee to Scott. Apparently he was getting bullied at school and he just didn't like his name. They said yes, no problem, no big deal. If it caused him less suffering, why not? He's been Scott ever since. My Uncle Scott. I've often wanted to change my first name to my middle name, but the administrative hassles ... are too overwhelming. I'm glad nicknames are much easier to edit. Thanks for writing.
Yes, yes, yes. ❤️
Beautiful!
Beautiful story and I agree with others here. Blueberry has a wonderful family!
I am commenting again after debating whether to put my thoughts into online space. Because I have no kids I can't relate but the love and consideration for your child's feelings comes through loud and clear. I quite don't understand the latest wave of she/her/they and so I can't speak for that. I find it confusing but I would never be as rude as the poster below who not only expresses her opinion but passes judgment and blame for a simple post. You were extremely kind to allow her to post. I would have just blocked her. I always remember the saying: "if you have nothing positive to say, say nothing" or something like that.