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Sabrina Simpson's avatar

Like many others have mentioned, this post rings very true to me too, although I have a slightly different trajectory. I've moved to the UK from California for over 13 years, plus a year in France, and it is challenging to make friends every time we move. We are now in our second location in the UK, and there isn't any sort of newcomers or 'Americans' group. (We have never been in London, so no large American clubs or other groups like that). When I first moved to the UK, I did a massive amount of networking for professional reasons and it was exhausting. The year we were in France, I met up with a group of other 'partners of academics' who had also relocated due to their partners jobs. These people were from all over the world, and I found that to be a very fascinating and eclectic group to spend time with, more so than the very active US ex-pat group who I did a few things with now and again. Like many of you mention, coming from the same birth country has no bearing on whether you will be compatible. Eventually I found like-minded people in both groups, but of course it takes time. The three people I am still in touch with are German, French, and a Taiwanese person who I met through the Americans. We are slowly bedding in now to our new location in the UK, and when I am feeling lonely I remind myself that it takes time to find the gems, but they will be found, eventually. Good luck to you all in Portugal-we love it there too! Luckily we have had work projects there so we get to visit often. LaDonna, your photos and words are really wonderful. Thanks.

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Jayne Dutra Huff's avatar

I very much enjoyed this piece and felt it personally. I agree that a shared language is a weird way to make friends. And I totally enjoyed the line where you said it felt like you were going on a thousand first dates. Just because someone is an English speaker doesn´t mean they share my world view, sense of humor or politics. I have had to realize that it will take quite some time before I build a circle of friends that my reflects my tastes and interests. Thank you for posting!

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