A) this is SO good, and B) this is so true. I have been doing a lot of that thing, lately - where you scroll restlessly through a social medium and think "Why don't I have hair like she does? Why isn't my house beautiful, like that guy's? Why don't I have a book published yet, or ten?? I am SUCH A FUCKING DISAPPOINTMENT!". Two related thoughts about that:
1. One cool thing about being a recovering addict is that you know that when your brain starts doing that bullshit, you grab a pen and bash out a Gratitude List. I usually aim for about 10 items, and by number 5 or so, I am calming. I look at my funky little home and think "I have a HOME. And it's warm and dry. And it has a really great husband and dog in it! How fucking lucky am I??"
And then I fart. Copiously and with a sort of peaceful calm.
2. You're always on my list. Every one of them, for the past 18 years. XO
3/4 C light or dark brown sugar (muscovado is nice if you have it, if not, no problem)
1/2 C sunflower or olive oil
2 eggs
3 or even 3 and a half ripe bananas
1 tsp baking powder and 1/2 tsp baking soda and 1/2 tsp salt
cinnamon (optional)
chopped walnuts (optional) (I used, not much)
Put all ingredients in a big bowl and mix until banana slices are smoothly blended in. Meanwhile, turn oven on to 325°F to preheat it. Now, here's the final secret ingredient: 2 tablespoons of creamy natural yogurt. I had vanilla yogurt in the fridge which was perfect. Blend in, then pour into a loaf pan lined with greased parchment paper. If you don't have this paper, then just pour into a greased loaf pan. Put in oven. After around 20 mn, reposition the tin in the oven. After around 45 mn, check the center by inserting a clean knife into it. Because this cake is dense, it takes a while for the center to cook.
If the top of the cake is over-cooking because of the heat above, cover the whole thing with tin foil. Don't overcook otherwise it won't be moist. You have to figure out for yourself when the best time is to take it out of the oven (all ovens are different). Let cool. Butter is optional.
Another excellent post, LaDonna. Your thoughts echo mine more often than not. I too am one of those "bloggers". My wife and I started our site about ten years ago so I feel like we're not just one of those "we just moved here and now we know everything people". We share what we've experienced and explain time and time again that these are our experiences and yours will likely be different. Anyhoo, I struggle so much with social media. It's an easy way to stay connected with family and friends but all too often comes off as bragging (which I loathe). I've been consciously posting much less and also scrolling much less and it makes for much more peace of mind. I hope you don't mind that I added a link to your substack in our last post because I think you so often hit the nail on the head on your writings about your experiences creating a life here with your family.
Hey Sue! I don't mind at all that you shared my substack. I'm always happy to welcome more readers. Thanks for introducing me to a few more. And thanks for your kind words, too.
once again, you're in my head. My own little blog (really just a newsletter to keep friends and family up to date on what we're doing) feels so haphazard, and I think it's because I've always been that person that waits until I'm in the thick of things (when I participate in said things and am not, myself, busy introverting in a corner) before it occurs to me to preserve a moment for posterity. I find myself struggling to 'find content' to entertain people, and lose sight of my goal of sharing my life the way I would when I lived in amongst the people I'm writing for.
Your writing is SO GOOD. It always makes me want to send it to the people I love. This may not make sense to anyone else, but I take pictures and post things for a few reasons: to save the memory in a spot where I know I can find it later (I do not fully trust my ADHD brain with this task), to catalogue the time I am getting here in this life (I am daily aware that my mom didn’t get this time), and, as strange as this sounds, to make myself aware and grateful in the moments of my life. I have found that stopping to take a picture to save to share makes me stop and be conscious of the beauty around me and less focused on the negative. Not that I never post with at least the partial intention of showing off my love affair with California and my irritation with the US. But more often than not it is a futile effort in slowing time and capturing the fleetingly short time that the kids are little. I always get the line, “how do you catch a cloud and pin it down?” From the Sound of Music stuck in my head. That and “too many dicks on the dance floor” as the only female in my home. So it is both, just as you say. I am always a little sad when I finish reading one of your posts because it means I have to wait for the next one!
Wow, como sempre... you DO tell a story, and well. I love your posts, some more than others, but this one is spot-on. We've been in Porto now, three years, and still love it. In spite of... well, lots of things. Muito obrigado for saying/verbalizing/writing about such trivial(?) thoughts as we all strive to learn to put the 'net into a proper box, with an airtight lid, that we should only open as necessary (whatever that means!) So, kudos, como sempre. Abraços e beijinhos!
LaDonna, undoubtedly, immigrants in other countries resonate with your thoughtful observations, but as a newbie in Portugal, I delight that you’re “one of ours”. 😜
Are we as humans capable of painting an “honest” picture of a massive, earth-shaking, cultural shocking, hits-each-of-us-in-a-different-spot move like this?
As a former reporter, I do my best to insert a dimension of objectivity into my “I moved to Portugal” writing (I do some stuff for the Portugal News).
But in the end, I believe the way things unfold for each of us is based on our personal fears and self-doubts balanced against our irresistible urge to run down to the deep end and jump in.
We’ll do it - and somehow trust we’ll land soft. Yet a pleasurable outcome is ALWAYS based on our skills of emotional resiliency. The good news is that those skills are ours to learn.
Hi LaDonna. Thanks for that wonderful, insightful post that I read almost a month ago and thought, "Wow, she nailed it!" after I laughed out loud about never farting. Your ideas about how we curate our posts and media feeds really resonated with me. I put those ideas together with my reflections on Shanna Trenholm's comments about tenacity (https://shanna.substack.com/p/between-the-cracks-thoughts-on-tenacity) and featured both in one of our posts at The Cook and The Writer earlier this month (https://thecookandthewriter.com/2023/05/12/the-flip-side-of-patience/). Then I got busy on something else and never let you or Shanna know.
I look forward to each of your posts and always finish thinking, "Damn. That was good!" and "Yeah, I've felt like that, too!" Thanks for all the effort you put into bringing us wonderful, relatable stories.
Wow, what an article. You write so beautifully. It really gave me a lot to think about. I also have retreated quite a bit. I can't take large groups, but of course, don't hold it against those that love it. Also great commentary on the curated, edited, social media posts of moments in people's lives (of which I'm guilty of to a small degree too). It would still be great to see you once in a blue moon for coffee. ❤️ Hope you and the whole fam are well!
Enjoyed your post a lot, LaDonna, and I agree totally that the internet is both a curse and a blessing, depending on how you use it. Tired of the time suck and of people who I didn't even know or relate to commenting on previous photos/trips, I decided NOT to post on FB and just do simple InDesign newsletters home to family and friends for a three-month trip we took to 3 countries on 3 continents. I wanted family members to know where we were and what we were doing, and it ended up being well received because of so many people I know who had quit social media. Also I could send the best photos in an aesthetically pleasing format and control how much or little I wrote and who ultimately got the final product. The other reason I documented this trip in this manner is that 10 years from now when my partner and I are too old to remember where we had been and the funny adventure stories we had had, we'll have the newsletter to fall back on. Like you reiterated, I'm not quitting the internet, I'm just being selective in how much time I spend on it.
I just made a delicious banana bread, slathered a slice with butter then took a photo (because it looked so darn delicious) and sent it to my friends via WhatsApp. Why? I dunno. Wanted to share my pleasure, I guess. Two people responded asking for the recipe.
Total stranger here, desperately in need of a good banana bread recipe. If you felt like posting it in a reply, I'd totally make it and slather it with butter! That sound so delicious right now.
A) this is SO good, and B) this is so true. I have been doing a lot of that thing, lately - where you scroll restlessly through a social medium and think "Why don't I have hair like she does? Why isn't my house beautiful, like that guy's? Why don't I have a book published yet, or ten?? I am SUCH A FUCKING DISAPPOINTMENT!". Two related thoughts about that:
1. One cool thing about being a recovering addict is that you know that when your brain starts doing that bullshit, you grab a pen and bash out a Gratitude List. I usually aim for about 10 items, and by number 5 or so, I am calming. I look at my funky little home and think "I have a HOME. And it's warm and dry. And it has a really great husband and dog in it! How fucking lucky am I??"
And then I fart. Copiously and with a sort of peaceful calm.
2. You're always on my list. Every one of them, for the past 18 years. XO
I love you ever so much and always. And you are on my lists, too. You, and dog farts.
Hi Sarah! With pleasure. Here's the recipe:
1 and 1/3 C flour
3/4 C light or dark brown sugar (muscovado is nice if you have it, if not, no problem)
1/2 C sunflower or olive oil
2 eggs
3 or even 3 and a half ripe bananas
1 tsp baking powder and 1/2 tsp baking soda and 1/2 tsp salt
cinnamon (optional)
chopped walnuts (optional) (I used, not much)
Put all ingredients in a big bowl and mix until banana slices are smoothly blended in. Meanwhile, turn oven on to 325°F to preheat it. Now, here's the final secret ingredient: 2 tablespoons of creamy natural yogurt. I had vanilla yogurt in the fridge which was perfect. Blend in, then pour into a loaf pan lined with greased parchment paper. If you don't have this paper, then just pour into a greased loaf pan. Put in oven. After around 20 mn, reposition the tin in the oven. After around 45 mn, check the center by inserting a clean knife into it. Because this cake is dense, it takes a while for the center to cook.
If the top of the cake is over-cooking because of the heat above, cover the whole thing with tin foil. Don't overcook otherwise it won't be moist. You have to figure out for yourself when the best time is to take it out of the oven (all ovens are different). Let cool. Butter is optional.
Bon appétit !
This sounds amazing. Thank you, Juliet!
I see why you and Lisa are friends. Love your writing and getting a peak into you.
Another excellent post, LaDonna. Your thoughts echo mine more often than not. I too am one of those "bloggers". My wife and I started our site about ten years ago so I feel like we're not just one of those "we just moved here and now we know everything people". We share what we've experienced and explain time and time again that these are our experiences and yours will likely be different. Anyhoo, I struggle so much with social media. It's an easy way to stay connected with family and friends but all too often comes off as bragging (which I loathe). I've been consciously posting much less and also scrolling much less and it makes for much more peace of mind. I hope you don't mind that I added a link to your substack in our last post because I think you so often hit the nail on the head on your writings about your experiences creating a life here with your family.
Hey Sue! I don't mind at all that you shared my substack. I'm always happy to welcome more readers. Thanks for introducing me to a few more. And thanks for your kind words, too.
once again, you're in my head. My own little blog (really just a newsletter to keep friends and family up to date on what we're doing) feels so haphazard, and I think it's because I've always been that person that waits until I'm in the thick of things (when I participate in said things and am not, myself, busy introverting in a corner) before it occurs to me to preserve a moment for posterity. I find myself struggling to 'find content' to entertain people, and lose sight of my goal of sharing my life the way I would when I lived in amongst the people I'm writing for.
Bang on, as always. Yours in non-farting, sunscreen-slathering introvertedness….
Your writing is SO GOOD. It always makes me want to send it to the people I love. This may not make sense to anyone else, but I take pictures and post things for a few reasons: to save the memory in a spot where I know I can find it later (I do not fully trust my ADHD brain with this task), to catalogue the time I am getting here in this life (I am daily aware that my mom didn’t get this time), and, as strange as this sounds, to make myself aware and grateful in the moments of my life. I have found that stopping to take a picture to save to share makes me stop and be conscious of the beauty around me and less focused on the negative. Not that I never post with at least the partial intention of showing off my love affair with California and my irritation with the US. But more often than not it is a futile effort in slowing time and capturing the fleetingly short time that the kids are little. I always get the line, “how do you catch a cloud and pin it down?” From the Sound of Music stuck in my head. That and “too many dicks on the dance floor” as the only female in my home. So it is both, just as you say. I am always a little sad when I finish reading one of your posts because it means I have to wait for the next one!
Bravo! Just, bravo. 🙌🏼
Spot on. As usual. Obrigado!
Wow, como sempre... you DO tell a story, and well. I love your posts, some more than others, but this one is spot-on. We've been in Porto now, three years, and still love it. In spite of... well, lots of things. Muito obrigado for saying/verbalizing/writing about such trivial(?) thoughts as we all strive to learn to put the 'net into a proper box, with an airtight lid, that we should only open as necessary (whatever that means!) So, kudos, como sempre. Abraços e beijinhos!
LaDonna, undoubtedly, immigrants in other countries resonate with your thoughtful observations, but as a newbie in Portugal, I delight that you’re “one of ours”. 😜
Are we as humans capable of painting an “honest” picture of a massive, earth-shaking, cultural shocking, hits-each-of-us-in-a-different-spot move like this?
As a former reporter, I do my best to insert a dimension of objectivity into my “I moved to Portugal” writing (I do some stuff for the Portugal News).
But in the end, I believe the way things unfold for each of us is based on our personal fears and self-doubts balanced against our irresistible urge to run down to the deep end and jump in.
We’ll do it - and somehow trust we’ll land soft. Yet a pleasurable outcome is ALWAYS based on our skills of emotional resiliency. The good news is that those skills are ours to learn.
Thanks for your Big brain & heart!
Hi LaDonna. Thanks for that wonderful, insightful post that I read almost a month ago and thought, "Wow, she nailed it!" after I laughed out loud about never farting. Your ideas about how we curate our posts and media feeds really resonated with me. I put those ideas together with my reflections on Shanna Trenholm's comments about tenacity (https://shanna.substack.com/p/between-the-cracks-thoughts-on-tenacity) and featured both in one of our posts at The Cook and The Writer earlier this month (https://thecookandthewriter.com/2023/05/12/the-flip-side-of-patience/). Then I got busy on something else and never let you or Shanna know.
I look forward to each of your posts and always finish thinking, "Damn. That was good!" and "Yeah, I've felt like that, too!" Thanks for all the effort you put into bringing us wonderful, relatable stories.
Wow, what an article. You write so beautifully. It really gave me a lot to think about. I also have retreated quite a bit. I can't take large groups, but of course, don't hold it against those that love it. Also great commentary on the curated, edited, social media posts of moments in people's lives (of which I'm guilty of to a small degree too). It would still be great to see you once in a blue moon for coffee. ❤️ Hope you and the whole fam are well!
Enjoyed your post a lot, LaDonna, and I agree totally that the internet is both a curse and a blessing, depending on how you use it. Tired of the time suck and of people who I didn't even know or relate to commenting on previous photos/trips, I decided NOT to post on FB and just do simple InDesign newsletters home to family and friends for a three-month trip we took to 3 countries on 3 continents. I wanted family members to know where we were and what we were doing, and it ended up being well received because of so many people I know who had quit social media. Also I could send the best photos in an aesthetically pleasing format and control how much or little I wrote and who ultimately got the final product. The other reason I documented this trip in this manner is that 10 years from now when my partner and I are too old to remember where we had been and the funny adventure stories we had had, we'll have the newsletter to fall back on. Like you reiterated, I'm not quitting the internet, I'm just being selective in how much time I spend on it.
Such a timely edition of your superb scrolls. This topic has been on my mind a lot. Fellow introvert finding my balance. ❤️
I just made a delicious banana bread, slathered a slice with butter then took a photo (because it looked so darn delicious) and sent it to my friends via WhatsApp. Why? I dunno. Wanted to share my pleasure, I guess. Two people responded asking for the recipe.
Total stranger here, desperately in need of a good banana bread recipe. If you felt like posting it in a reply, I'd totally make it and slather it with butter! That sound so delicious right now.