14 Comments

You never step in the same river twice, for it is not the same river and (you are) not the same (person).” - Heraclitus

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Well written. We've been going back to the states once a year since we left in 2015 and each time the feeling of not really belonging is greater. With the results of the election my wife is finally more amenable to selling our house in Arizona. After that is done it may be awhile before I return. I don't think it's beyond the realm of possibility to, in a couple of years time, to be stopped at U.S. immigration (or even detained) over my anti-Trump posts on social media

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I'm not a natural-born American, having been naturalized as a little one by my parents' naturalization. I also wonder if one day this may happen to me.

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How I love your stories. The way you’re honest and raw and hopeful all at the same time. I’ll share this entry with the social workers and teachers who looked for real estate in Canada all day. I shared a bit of your story and now Portugal is on the list too. Young women with their whole lives ahead of them. ❤️

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She is lyrical in her thoughts, like her mom ❤️

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This is beautiful. Thank you so much for writing it.

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Although difficult at the moment your daughter is learning such important lessons in life. It’s tough to go through but she’ll come out the other side with a perspective most her age can’t conceive. Thanks for sharing your story. Right now I can’t even think about going back…ever.

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What a wise and insightful young woman she is! Her description of Portugal feeling like clothes that are too big is spot on. We hosted an Election Results brunch yesterday. Most of the attendees have been here for at least a year, but one woman just completed her first week. I will forward your story and your daughter’s quote to her this morning…

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This was just lovely, thank you. She hit it right on the head, didn't she? You can't really go 'home' again but you can make a new home elsewhere.

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It warmed my post-election broken heart...and this "But loving a place and knowing you no longer belong is bittersweet" is how I feel today.

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Love it. So glad you were there over Halloween and they got to do their costumes. Out Ocean Beach way and the avenues, yay! Take care, all the best.

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(Apparently) we ARE going back.

And so, to go with the flow, do what THEY did; our ancestors (yours, mine).

Our capital “H”, home, it’s the place where we grew up; the dirt that we come from. We (all) got that (dirt). It’s in us. It is us. That dirt that we come from, it is in our blood. It is in our bones.

But since we are going back, now more than ever, I would say that we are called - to do - what they did. If and when we are so called, Pack It Up.

Move. Move it. Find YOUR best place, the best place for you. New dirt.

Wet finger and hold it up into the wind. Which way is the wind blowing? Take heed.

Do what they did. Vote with your feet.

GO…

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Ah those pictures! I ran Golden Gate Park every weekend, panhandle to Ocean Beach and back. We lived in the Presidio and have many of the same bittersweet feelings. We'll always love San Francisco. Many of the reasons I"m in Portugal - the Sintra area - and not Spain or Italy is because the weather and geography remind me so strongly of the Bay Area.

Loved this meditation. Halloween at age 14 is different - young enough to want the candy, but on the cusp of aging out. I remember knowing when it was my last Halloween, and being okay with that.

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So poignant and so true. We are grappling with the same things with our 10 year old son, and funnily enough Halloween and it not being the same here is a big source of angst and longing as well. It's hard enough for adults to deal with living in the in-between and not being able to go home again, but it can be even harder for kids I think.

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