Great insights and progress shared! A whirlwind it has been! Oh that table! He's fantastic! Oh that chair, with that circular arm? That's is fabulous whomever designed that! So so sorry to hear Filha and you all had to suffer "confusion" and frustration and probably fighting panic emotion in that, what sounds like such a hideous 2nd school experience. Especially for Filha. I just feel she is a magical child, either the way you write about her or her images and movement, make her jump off the page to say hello and connect with me. Thanks again, I am always so eager to read your words. I have questions. I didn't get them in. I am happy if you keep answering more as we all wanna know about the expat to >>>><<<< fill in the blank country experience. I would so love to see what you have done with your house, what it's interior breathes like, the new environment you cuddle your life in. I hope it has lots of light and windows.
Thank you, Gigi. I know I'm 100% biased, but I think Filha is a pretty magical child, as well. And I'll plan a photographic house tour in the near future (we're still unpacking some boxes).
As always I read your words with delight... having moved here ourselves (off and on as we still have a house and family in the US) I find your writings to be lovely versions and variations of many of my/our own thoughts, written with a humble and very personal eloquence which is quite endearing. We're retired, no kids in school etc etc so of course many differences, but I grew up "overseas" myself and was perhaps a version of Filha's her gross boy friend, many many years ago(!), so it's all SO familiar. Kudos and obrigado to you, and keep on keepin' on!
Thank you for such thoughtful responses to our questions, La Donna. And I look forward to the next post on 'belonging' ... I lived and worked internationally for most of my adult life and, knowing these were simply "postings" of a few years, I didn't worry as much about belonging (or even becoming fluent in several dialects). But the move you made is something completely different and it causes me to wonder if I travel so much because I don't belong "at home"? Am I looking for something/somewhere or just accepting that being a global nomad is my life? It's complicated.
I also empathize deeply with your sorrow over the very poor educational experiences. I think it was one of the hardest aspects of raising children overseas while I was working. These days, I'm not surprised to see all of my grandchildren being home-schooled :-) We were all burned out on education systems/schooling at some point. It sounds like you have been able to design a great solution and I'm confident that you and Filha will continue to innovate very well. It may help to hear that 20 years later my now-adult kids are able to identify important learning from even the most unhappy moments and they value it all. My youngest is a complete third culture kid, often frustrated and uncertain about where he is/should be but also one of the kindest and most interesting young adults in my world. Do be gentle with yourself.
> I personally never want to or plan to live there again in my lifetime.
I feel this. I met an older US American lady who now lives in Deutschland on plane in November. I said I would renounce my US citizenship if I were single. I'm so over the US. However, while my husband thinks of Stockholm as home now, he wants the option to potentially live for a period of time again in the US. Maybe NYC for a year. Maybe in Texas for a few years while our nieces and nephews would be interested in more uncle time. The lady said, "Never give up your US citizenship. WW2 wasn't so long ago." I have thought about that often in the last month as Putin attacks Ukraïna and threatens Sverige over its consideration to join NATO.
Sounds like the adjustments to your new life are ever changing and being handled with grace and care for those involved. I'm enjoying your writings and look forward to hearing more.
We are going to continue with our private Portuguese tutor for 6th grade. She teaches my daughter the Portuguese curriculum, but in English. She also teaches her Portuguese. I am hopeful that by next year this time my daughter will be comfortable enough to try 7th grade in the public school system. We are already registered with our local public school as "homeschoolers," so they have a teacher who keeps tabs on our curriculum, etc. This also will make it easy for Filha to jump into the public system whenever she might be ready. School has definitely been a difficult solve for us here in Portugal. This is the best option available to us right now. I'm hopeful that as we get more connected and more fluent, more options will open up to us. The teaching side of things is great with tutoring, but the socializing with other kids my daughter's age is not so great. I don't want her to stay this isolated forever.
Thank you so much! This is a good reminder that things are a process and a practice and everything doesn’t need to be fixed yesterday. I mean for me, not saying “let this be a reminder to you” but reminding my own brain (which has been fantasising about following in your footsteps- I was a Chicagoan, now a Californian, possibly a European one day) as I tend to have anticipatory anxiety and want to control it with answers!
Great insights and progress shared! A whirlwind it has been! Oh that table! He's fantastic! Oh that chair, with that circular arm? That's is fabulous whomever designed that! So so sorry to hear Filha and you all had to suffer "confusion" and frustration and probably fighting panic emotion in that, what sounds like such a hideous 2nd school experience. Especially for Filha. I just feel she is a magical child, either the way you write about her or her images and movement, make her jump off the page to say hello and connect with me. Thanks again, I am always so eager to read your words. I have questions. I didn't get them in. I am happy if you keep answering more as we all wanna know about the expat to >>>><<<< fill in the blank country experience. I would so love to see what you have done with your house, what it's interior breathes like, the new environment you cuddle your life in. I hope it has lots of light and windows.
Thank you, Gigi. I know I'm 100% biased, but I think Filha is a pretty magical child, as well. And I'll plan a photographic house tour in the near future (we're still unpacking some boxes).
Fabulous. I can't wait! Hi to all.
As always I read your words with delight... having moved here ourselves (off and on as we still have a house and family in the US) I find your writings to be lovely versions and variations of many of my/our own thoughts, written with a humble and very personal eloquence which is quite endearing. We're retired, no kids in school etc etc so of course many differences, but I grew up "overseas" myself and was perhaps a version of Filha's her gross boy friend, many many years ago(!), so it's all SO familiar. Kudos and obrigado to you, and keep on keepin' on!
Thanks so much, Bob! I really appreciate your kind comment.
Thank you for such thoughtful responses to our questions, La Donna. And I look forward to the next post on 'belonging' ... I lived and worked internationally for most of my adult life and, knowing these were simply "postings" of a few years, I didn't worry as much about belonging (or even becoming fluent in several dialects). But the move you made is something completely different and it causes me to wonder if I travel so much because I don't belong "at home"? Am I looking for something/somewhere or just accepting that being a global nomad is my life? It's complicated.
I also empathize deeply with your sorrow over the very poor educational experiences. I think it was one of the hardest aspects of raising children overseas while I was working. These days, I'm not surprised to see all of my grandchildren being home-schooled :-) We were all burned out on education systems/schooling at some point. It sounds like you have been able to design a great solution and I'm confident that you and Filha will continue to innovate very well. It may help to hear that 20 years later my now-adult kids are able to identify important learning from even the most unhappy moments and they value it all. My youngest is a complete third culture kid, often frustrated and uncertain about where he is/should be but also one of the kindest and most interesting young adults in my world. Do be gentle with yourself.
Harriet, your words mean so much to me. Thank you.
> I personally never want to or plan to live there again in my lifetime.
I feel this. I met an older US American lady who now lives in Deutschland on plane in November. I said I would renounce my US citizenship if I were single. I'm so over the US. However, while my husband thinks of Stockholm as home now, he wants the option to potentially live for a period of time again in the US. Maybe NYC for a year. Maybe in Texas for a few years while our nieces and nephews would be interested in more uncle time. The lady said, "Never give up your US citizenship. WW2 wasn't so long ago." I have thought about that often in the last month as Putin attacks Ukraïna and threatens Sverige over its consideration to join NATO.
Sounds like the adjustments to your new life are ever changing and being handled with grace and care for those involved. I'm enjoying your writings and look forward to hearing more.
That new dining table is WOW!
I know! He's so good!
I think I'm most happy about Lilly School, Elda, and tomatoes <3 Thanks for the update. Don't beat yourself up -- it was grand and worth waiting for!
I am so curious what you will do for school in the fall! I am following along and also have a sweet, sensitive child who is almost 10.
We are going to continue with our private Portuguese tutor for 6th grade. She teaches my daughter the Portuguese curriculum, but in English. She also teaches her Portuguese. I am hopeful that by next year this time my daughter will be comfortable enough to try 7th grade in the public school system. We are already registered with our local public school as "homeschoolers," so they have a teacher who keeps tabs on our curriculum, etc. This also will make it easy for Filha to jump into the public system whenever she might be ready. School has definitely been a difficult solve for us here in Portugal. This is the best option available to us right now. I'm hopeful that as we get more connected and more fluent, more options will open up to us. The teaching side of things is great with tutoring, but the socializing with other kids my daughter's age is not so great. I don't want her to stay this isolated forever.
Thank you so much! This is a good reminder that things are a process and a practice and everything doesn’t need to be fixed yesterday. I mean for me, not saying “let this be a reminder to you” but reminding my own brain (which has been fantasising about following in your footsteps- I was a Chicagoan, now a Californian, possibly a European one day) as I tend to have anticipatory anxiety and want to control it with answers!