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Ashley's avatar

“Now that I am here, I can say without reservation that those hours of anxiety were ill-spent. I love it—Portugal, Setúbal, all of it.” These words are going to be my mantra. As a chronic 3am worrier (guns, student loan debt, retirement, trans rights, racial inequality, the world falling apart, the list goes on). Most of these things are out of my control. I remember so many things, though, that were ill-spent moments. Someone asked me if I had anything I would do differently as a new mom if I ever were again (I won’t be having more kids, but can reflect) and I said I would snuggle them and spend time with them WITHOUT worrying about what comes next. Easy enough for me to say to imaginary new mom me. I wish older, retirement age me could somehow bestow some 20/20 hindsight words of wisdom on current me as I muddle through trying to make the right life choices for future me and family. But sometimes I think that if someone had played a 30 second video clip of my current life to 20-something me- maybe a clip of the boys in the stock tank pool or hiking or just being silly and dancing or even snuggled up reading a book in our house in California- that the beauty of it would have blown 20-something me’s mind. I never would have dared to dream so big. I wish I could travel back to hold my own hand and tell me that it will be ok, that I don’t need to do everything at once, that I can enjoy and stop worrying and snuggle up at 3am.

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Iris Caviezel's avatar

I just finished reading your blog - for the first time - and I'm going to subscribe! I loved it! It feels like I'm right there with you guys, with all the excitement and joy of exploring :) I very much appreciate your pictures of Setubal! Thank you!

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