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Harriet's avatar

This is such an eloquent and thoughtful reflection on the question of belonging, thank you. I read it several times and was struck by the intersections with my current reading of Brené Brown's "Atlas of the Heart" in which she also talks about the difference between fitting in (adjusting yourself) and belonging (accepting yourself). "Because we can feel belonging only if we have the courage to share our most authentic selves with people, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance." You express this so well.

I also returned to Toko-pa Turner's "Belonging: Remembering Ourselves Home", a book that I've worked with for several years now. She argues that belonging is a set of skills, not simply a state of being. She has a lovely dedication/blessing at the front that may resonate with some:

"For the rebels and the misfits, the black sheep and the outsiders. For the refugees, the orphans, the scapegoats, and the wierdos. For the uprooted, the abandoned, the shunned and invisible ones.

May you recognize in increasing vividness that you know what you know.

May you give up your allegiances to self-doubt, meekness, and hesitation.

May you be willing to be unlikeable, and in the process be utterly loved.

May you be impervious to the wrongful projections of others, and may you deliver your disagreements with precision and grace.

May you see, with the consummate clarity of nature moving through you, that your voice is ot only necessary, but desperately needed to sing us out of this muddle.

May you feel shored up, supported, entwined, and reassured as you offer yourself and your gifts to the world.

May you know for certain that even as you stand by yourself, you are not alone."

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Eileen Marrinan's avatar

Magnificent piece of writing! Thank you for this beautiful gift.

The two poems are a lovely desert to your reflections. It was the final lines of Mary Oliver’s poem The Summer Day (Tell me, what do you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?) that made my decision to move to Portugal clear.

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